


Drunk song for a guilty baker

by Naarel



Category: Doki Doki Literature Club! (Visual Novel)
Genre: But it isn't canon, Drunk by accident, F/F, Inspired by Music, It's the same AU as in Poem for a Guilty Sadist, Meant to be comedy, Well not canon in PfaGS terms
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-26
Updated: 2018-01-26
Packaged: 2019-03-09 17:33:18
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 443
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13486374
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Naarel/pseuds/Naarel
Summary: Sayori accidentally added alcohol to Natsuki's cupcakes.Now everybody in the club, except Natsuki, is drunk as heck.Inspired by this funni mashup: https://youtu.be/bqvHsDvgWuA





	Drunk song for a guilty baker

"Fuck" Natsuki said to herself quietly. How didn't she notice it? How did Sayori manage to add so much alcohol into her own cupcakes? And, the most important question, how is she going to deal with three drunk as hell girls?

"We should... do the stuff! Do the stuff to free ourselves from our... hic! our weak bodies! It's time for a cyber revolution, for a transhumanist re-revolution!" Monika said, standing on the teacher's desk and waving her blazer like she would be waving a flag of her revolution. 

Natsuki completely didn't understand a thing (basically, the only word she understood was 'trans', but let's not talk about it now). 

"Y-yeah!" Yuri screamed, throwing tea leaves at Monika. "Take the rest off!"

"Yuri, please, d-don't..." Natsuki said, trying to prevent her from, well, behaving like this. 

"I HAVE CRIPPLING DEPRESSION!" Sayori shouted and laughed, jumping up and down. 

"YOU WOULDN'T HAVE DEPRESSION IF YOU WERE A CYBORG!" Monika threw her blazer at Yuri, who caught it with a high pitched noise. Then, the club president took her sweater vest off and waved it in the same manner. Yuri hugged the blazer and started humming some kind of melody nobody else could recognize. 

"It isn't fucking Doki Doki Strip Club, Monika! Get the fuck down!" Natsuki tried to reach Monika's hand, but it was too high for her to reach. 

"If Miss President wants this, then it becomes a f-fucking strip club!" Yuri threw a random amount of tea leaves in Natsuki's direction. She shielded her face with her hands, avoiding getting hit by mighty leaves.

" _Looo-oonely heaaaarts cluuub"_ Sayori sang, giggling.  _"Do you w-want to be with... somebody... like meeeeeeeee"_

Natsuki sighed. It surely was harder than she thought. 

Sayori came to her in a dancing-like manner. Her fingertips ran across Natsuki's cheek.

"What are you doing? S-Sayori, stop, you're drunk!" Natsuki tried to back off, but failed as Sayori hugged her tightly.

"I'm not letting you go!"

"I have a-a dream! A d-dream where... hic! a dream where self-aware game characters can get a physical body!" Monika continued her manifesto.

"I have a dream a-about you in my sheets!" Yuri replied boldly, standing up. Monika laughed and leaned to kiss her. Suddenly it became more and more passionate, but Natsuki couldn't stop it because, well, Sayori was still hugging. Tightly. Very, very tightly.

"Stop you dummies!" Natsuki screamed. 

"Dummy!" Sayori laughed hard and pressed her lips to Natsuki's cheek. "Mwah!"

"DON'T! SAYORI, YOU'VE GOT A B-BOYFRIEND!"

But Sayori didn't listen.

 

They will all regret it soon, won't they?

But the future didn't matter now.

In fact, Natsuki wasn't even mad at Sayori. 

**Author's Note:**

> I don't know what people do when they're drunk lol  
> I'll be 18 in June and it means that by the law of my country I'll be able to buy alcohol and stuff but I don't think I'll ever get drunk, it doesn't seem fun to me lol  
> Underage drinking is bad remember it guys  
> But I just had to write this, like, it was in my head for a long time (and by 'long time' I mean 'a day') and I couldn't resist.  
> Also I don't know how realistic it is and how much alcohol Sayori had to put in cupcakes to make 'em all drunk BUT IT'S A HECKING COMEDY I DON'T HAVE TO BE REALISTIC HERE *YURI'S LAUGH MP3*
> 
> aHR0cHM6Ly95b3V0dS5iZS9ZZVBSbmRiRGVZRQ==


End file.
